Friday, August 7, 2009

A New Identity

So, it's Friday night. And I'm being lazy, and looking at blogs for a few minutes before I go to bed. And just now I looked at one featuring craft ideas for kids and it hit me - I don't have little ones anymore. Nobody wants to paint or make journals or make leaf placemats or nature candles or any of the crafts I used to make with my kids.

Don't get me wrong, they'll always be my boys, but our relationship has changed. And I have to face up to that - I'm a mom with grown children, and they don't need me on a daily basis anymore. It's weird, that's what it is. Really, they haven't needed me for a long time, but they are sweet boys and they let me pretend that I was still important. Now I have to face it - I'm not! I have to find a new identity.

Someday soon I think I'll see this information as liberating, but right now it's just sad. I'm pathetic. Thank heaven I still have to study for another few weeks - if I were completely at loose ends right now I might go bananas!


TC said...

You almost made me cry. Really! And I rarely do that. My throat actually tightened up. I don't know what I'll do when mine are grown and ... oh "crunb!" now I'm gettin teary eyed again!

Lisa said...

I know that feeling oh so well. Even though I still have Joey here, I feel the loss of the other boys. The lack of need is a huge loss. I always felt being a mom was one of my only talents and when it went down to one child with horrible custody arrangement of every other week, I felt I lost my identity. It's a horrible feeling but I have to say that it's nice to know I'm not alone in the feeling because it does feel pitiful and almost shameful for feeling that way. I can't say the feeling goes away but it does dull in time. Hugs to you, wish it was in person.

Terri said...

TC, don't go gettin' all emotional on me, now! :)

Lisa, I had no idea what they meant by "empty nest syndrome" until I experienced it. It's very real, and it will take some time to get used to it. But I think you are a multi-talented lady and you should be proud of all the things you are good at!

Daisy said...

Yes, they grow up way too fast and too soon. If you really miss doing those crafts and have free time someday (I know you have none right now!), I'm sure there are schools or libraries or churches nearby who would love to have you occasionally volunteer to do crafts with some of their little ones. :)

therese said...

oh, oh, i'm not looking forward to that day in my own life! but i know it will come, eventually..